A Friend Who Will Wound You

Every man wants loyal friends. But loyalty is easily misunderstood. A friend who agrees with everything you say may be pleasant company and still be dangerous. Brotherhood is not an alliance against correction. Sometimes the most loyal thing a man can do is tell you what everyone else has become too polite to mention.

This requires courage on both sides. One man must risk speaking. The other must resist defending. Pride makes both difficult. We prefer friends who confirm the story we already tell about ourselves. But iron does not sharpen iron by applauding its dullness.

Find men who want your good more than your approval. Give them permission to ask about your marriage, your habits, your faith, your money, your temper, your excuses. And become that kind of brother yourself — not a critic searching for weakness, but a man willing to enter another man’s blind spot with truth and love.